Saying goodbye.

Today I said goodbye to my job of 10 years and all of the family and friends that came with it. I closed the door for the last time to the first house that I ever owned by myself. Tomorrow, I’ll have one last dinner with my family before I won’t see them for quite a while.

I won’t lie, the weight of it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am thrilled to be chasing my dreams to Washington, but equally terrified at leaving all I have ever known. They say that the best things in life are often the hardest / scariest, right? This must be the best decision ever because my heart feels quite broken. I definitely know that we will be back to visit, but I also know it won’t be the same. And that’s okay, people change and lives evolve and that’s a great thing! Where would we be without progress? I just know that it will take some time to grieve what was.

My amazing coworkers threw a going-away party today, and although I spent nearly half the day crying it was one of my new favorite memories. Also on that list: a Zoom call with my college girlfriends and some socially-distant ice cream with Kalia, sitting on camping chairs in the parking lot of Cold Stone! This isn’t how I wanted to say goodbye and I know I’m not quite ready. But even without the restrictions due to Coronavirus, I don’t think any goodbye could suffice right now. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, so might as well take the leap!

I don’t usually put much stock in Panda Express fortunes, but this one was such perfect timing and such a perfect message, I couldn’t help but shed yet a few more tears when I read it; like it was truly meant for me.

I feel so incredibly blessed for the life I’ve had here in Arizona. If Washington is even half as fulfilling, I think we’re going to be very, very happy.

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